Weekend for a Lifetime

One of my Lenten almsgiving pledges is to find one worthy charity per week and donate my time and/or money to them. I thought I would also use this space to tell you about them so you may help if you choose to do so. My choice for this week is The Catholic Engaged Encounter - Diocese of Arlington, VA.


We met with Fr. David, the priest who married us, in his office one Friday afternoon a couple of months before the wedding. He talked with us about the covenant we were about to enter into. We each took a survey designed to identify areas that we might want to work on between us. And he gave us a packet to read (I imagine that was our homework, although he didn't state as much.)

In the packet was a seemingly innocuous yellow flyer. It explained the two forms of marriage preparation forums (I would say classes, but that makes it sound like so much less than it actually is.) There is the multiple several hour sessions spread out over a number of weeks, and the single, entire weekend. We chose the latter option with no hesitation whatsoever. [Just one of the many decisions we've made with unified conviction over the past 6+ years.]

I remember looking forward to the weekend with much anticipation, but I still don't think we were prepared for the deeply spiritual experience we were about to undergo. I still remember to this day some of the one-on-one talks we had, and the Saturday night group session where we openly shared our thoughts about what we were preparing for. It was also very enlightening to hear from the "veterans" -- couples who had been married for a few years up to 20-30 years.

Toward the end of the weekend, they talked a bit of logistics. We found out that the Engaged Encounter weekends are not funded by the Church, and all the session leaders are unpaid volunteers. They talked about the costs involved, and asked for our prayerful consideration on making a contribution.

We didn't have the means with us at the time (i.e. no checkbook), but we promised to make a donation once we got home. Well of course, we slipped right back into wedding prep and the donation idea was shelved.

Well here is my opportunity to rectify that oversight, albeit 5 1/2 years late. I am making an online contribution to the Catholic Engaged Encounter for the Diocese of Arlington, VA right now. Check them out by clicking the link above. If you have the desire and means to help them out financially, please do so. They are doing some very important work in a culture where divorce and broken marriages have become all too common.

Convergence of Random Thoughts

OK, so I struggled a bit with the title of this entry. What I am going to write about seems like three independent thoughts or events of this week, but when I sat down and thought about it there is a definite connection between them. Hence the convergence. So here goes, in no particular order.

My nephew Kevin turned 14 a week ago Saturday. I file that fact away in the "I'm getting old" folder, which seems to be growing exponentially lately. I became an uncle for the first time when he was born, so I will always feel a special connection to him because of that. I am also his Godfather and I feel very blessed to have that role in his life as well. So when he asked me to be his Confirmation sponsor a few months ago, my first thought was "of course, I wouldn't have it any other way." That's not to say that a number of people could not have taken on that role and done it very well. There's just a certain continuity to the relationship between Kevin and I that will be perpetuated when I stand up with him next Saturday. I hope it will be as special a moment for him as it will be for me.

The latest milestone in our immediate family happened today when Colin (aka Col-Kel) turned 12 weeks old. He is such a precious, special baby for many reasons. Not the least of which is all the turmoil that his Mommy went through over the last trimester, the fact that he was born 4 weeks early, and the respirator that was part of his first few hours "on the outside." He started smiling recently (and not just gas -- Mommy and Daddy can tell the difference!) He really loves being held and fawned over by his brothers. And I can see certain aspects of his personality emerging already that will make him his own man. I told Cindy today that I see him as a Big Picture Thinker, which would certainly be different than Brian's disciplined attention to detail and Sean's creative flair. It's amazing how siblings can be so similar in some areas, but so unique in others.

So we have two stages of life going on here, and they will converge for a time when we travel to South Florida next week for Kevin's confirmation. But the third thought/event that really ties everything together happened earlier this week. Our church held a "Forty Hours Adoration" that began at 8 pm on Ash Wednesday and concluded at 8 pm last night. (For those of you who are math-obsessed like me, Mass times are not counted as part of the 40 hours since the Blessed Sacrament was reposed at those times.) Cindy and I participated as adorers -- her on Thursday early morning and I on Thursday and Friday morning. It was truly a special experience for me. An opportunity to spend some quiet time with Jesus and reflect on the tremendous blessings he has bestowed on me and my family. I also thought about where we were spiritually last year around this time versus this year. We endured a lot of upheaval and change, which was accompanied by the uncertainty of leaving a community where we had developed relationships to go somewhere were we knew almost no one. Looking back, I can definitively say that we are in a better place today than we were last year at this time. My faith has grown so much in the past 9 months. The funny thing is I thought I was pretty far along on my faith journey, and I still think that is true. But what the past few months have taught me is that I have much further to go. Now you're never really at the end (at least in this life), but I am more aware of the work I need to do to deepen my relationship with God. I now realize that, at some level, I was just "going through the motions" until we made this change. And this week's adoration really drove home that point. We really feel we are "home" now, and that feels really good.

So Kevin, Col-Kel, and Christ (we have I heard something like that before? Hint: see February 13 post.) Three very important parts of my life, coming together in my thought this week and will converge again next Saturday. I can't wait.

Here Comes Lent

Ash Wednesday is upon us, and with that the start of another Lenten season. While I don't usually have a plan in writing, 2007 will be different. Gotta keep up with the wife! Here's my plan:

Prayer
-- Daily Bible Study: read all four Gospels, two chapters per day (idea from Fr. Pat Kelly)
-- Holy Hour or Daily Mass once a week
-- Rosary every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday

Penance
-- No cookies
-- No Starbucks
-- "Meager Meal" Wednesdays (no meat, no fish, very basic dinner)

Almsgiving
-- Find one worthy charity per week to support with money or time
-- Give to the Bishop's Lenten Appeal

Have a Blessed Lenten season.

Three C's

It was a typical Virginia autumn day. The morning began with rain that gave way to bright sunshine shortly after 11:00 in the morning.

Herndon High School was holding their Homecoming Parade. And just off the parade route, at St. Joseph Catholic Church, Father David Bonarrigo was joining us in Holy Matrimony.

His homily offered many insights and thoughts to ponder, all based on the letter "C". (What just popped into my head is the Sesame Street song "C is for Cookie", sung by none other than the Cookie Monster. This is where my life is today.)

Father David explained that we are joined together in many ways, and he tied them into the fact that both of our names start with C. He offered nine C's for us to consider, starting with the fact that C is the third letter of the alphabet. The number three then reminds us that this is a union of three -- Chris, Cindy, and Christ. I guess I've always known this would be the case when I was married, but Father David put it right up front for us -- where it belongs. Although I haven't thought about his particular words very often, the idea that Christ is in the center of our union is constant.

The other C's that Father David spoke of were: commencement, consecrate, commitment, charity, community, communication, create, and celebrate. A pretty good list, I'd say. (And I am really glad that our names don't start with Q or X!)

Over five years have passed since Father David imparted his wisdom to us. Many things have changed in that time, but his words remain as relevant today as the day he spoke them.

On our first wedding anniversary, Cindy gave me a quilt that now hangs in our bedroom. I look at it almost every night just before I drift off to sleep:

I once thought that marriage took just two to make a go,
But now I realize that it takes the Lord also.

Simple words, but a powerful thought. Chris, Cindy, Christ.

Happy Valentine's Day!

How You Doin'?

Better yet...how am I doin'? It's been close to a month since I posted my resolutions for the year. And I promised regular updates on my progress, so here goes:

1. Read one book per month.
I need to focus a little more on this one. Still reading January's book.

2. Take my wife out on a date once a month.
We went on a date (albeit with Colin, but he slept the whole time so I'm counting it) on my birthday. Bonefish Grill. Bang-Bang Shrimp. Surf and turf. Yum.

3. Walk 25 miles per week.
Doing great on this one. I'm actually modifying my goal upward to 30 miles per week.

4. Abstain from meat one day a week.
I'm holding to this one as well, although Cindy suggested that I pick the same day each week. So I've decided to abstain on Wednesdays.

5. Go to confession once a month.
Didn't make this in January, but I will get on track this month.

6. Weigh 170 pounds at this time next year.
I've lost one pound so far, so heading in the right direction.

7. Go camping twice this year.
The weather is still way too cold to get started here. I'm shooting for our first outing in April or May.

8. Read and study the gospels.
Dabbled in this one, but I recently found a website that I think may help me get into this habit.

9. Write in my blog at least twice a week.
I missed this goal the first week, but I've stayed on track since then.

10. Research our family tree.
I purchased the newest version of Family Tree Maker software, and got started in earnest on this project today. Stay tuned.

11. Write thank you notes within one week of receiving the gift.
Birthday thank-you notes not out yet. Need some more focus here.

12. Hold family budget meetings once a month.
We held our January meeting. So far so good.

13. Talk to my dad once a week.
I've talked to my dad every week since I made this resolution. And that's a big deal since I had really slacked off in this area lately.

14. Volunteer once per quarter.
Another resolution I'm modifying upward. I will try to volunteer once a month. I began by donating blood this week.

So overall, I'm doing pretty well. Need some more focus on a few goals, but I'm sticking to most of them.

Just Say Yes

April 14, 2005 -- Middleburg, Virginia

"Every Knight in this room, along with every family that stands behind each man, has made a simple, seemingly ordinary, yet heroic decision to say “yes”. “Yes” in special service to our Lord through our Blessed Mother Mary. “Yes” to the founding principles of this country, defending life from the moment of conception right through to when our Lord decides to end our Earthly service. “Yes” to extending ourselves in support of the less fortunate and fighting on behalf of the down-trodden.

When one man stands up - it's certainly noble and he can lead his home…… When a group of men stand together - they might even change their community….. But when a million plus stand together - they will change the world. With a simple “yes” each Knight not only acknowledged causes “larger than himself” but also pledged to stand with brother Knights everywhere in defense of the Church and in service to her Priests.

With that simple “yes” we will continue to fight for the causes of social justice on behalf of those weaker and less fortunate, as we defend life in each of its sacred stages. In the context of our faith, this service is rather simple, it's called standing up for what is right. In the framework of our society, this service is nothing short of heroic and because of this heroic service, you and our fellow brothers are known as Knights."

With his father's words preparing the path before him, "Van Goal" became a Knight of Columbus last evening. Accomplished blogger, rising college soccer star, aspiring Spanish prodigy (OK, maybe just "student"), and now Brother to over 1.7 million Catholic gentlemen worldwide.

Welcome Brother Van Goal. Thank you for standing up and saying "yes". And may God bless you on your journey.

Useless Facts

A number of years ago, my buddy Robert made me aware of one of the biggest collections of useless (but interesting) facts on the planet. Deb & Jen's Land O' Useless Facts still exists today (www.uselessfacts.info), and it's amazing similar to its 1990's look-and-feel.

No fancy menus, flash animation or the like. In fact, according to the site it has not been updated since 2002. No matter. The facts are still as useless today as they've ever been. Here are a few samplings:

• It takes a week to make a jelly bean.
  
  
• The Gateway Arch looks taller than it is wider, but it is exactly 630 feet by 630 feet.
  
  
• Harvard uses "Yale" brand locks on their buildings. Yale uses "Best" brand.
  
  
• A "jiffy" is a unit of time: 3.3357 times 10 raised to the -11 (3.3357x10^-11) seconds. So named for the length of time it takes light to travel a cm in a vacuum.
  
  
• The original Guinness Brewery in Dublin, Ireland has a six thousand year lease.
  
  
• In English, "four" is the only digit that has the same number of letters as its value.

Of course, I could go on but you get the point. If you are left wanting more, visit their site. Be prepared to spend some time there.

And check out the links at the bottom of the main page. But only if you really have too much time on your hands!