Last night, family, friends, and colleagues of Gene McDonald gathered for a fitting tribute to a 34-year career marked with outstanding achievement and scores of deep personal relationships. While I have not known him nearly as long as most people in the room, he has certainly touched my life in similar ways.
It was a warm Saturday afternoon in August on a non-descript soccer field in Herndon, Virginia. Dozens of young girls competing in a weekend ritual that plays out all over Northern Virginia that time of year. Just another weekend soccer game.
But it was also the day I met Gene and Diana McDonald.
I had been dating their daughter Cindy for a couple of months, and I was looking forward to meeting the people behind the most important person in my life. I was also a bit nervous, probably due in part to some of the stories that I had heard from my friend Tom Killick, who was Gene's ARM at the time (for all you non-Pfizer people out there, that's Assistant to the Regional Manager). Not that the stories were bad...in fact just the opposite. So whatever anxiety I felt was probably because I knew that first impression would be important.
"Mom, Dad...this is Chris," Cindy introduced me. Gene clasped my hand with a firm grip signaling confidence and strength, but also an inviting "glad to meet you." He was intensely focused on the game involving his daughter Kellie, but he paused and directed his attention to me (Cindy probably also knew to wait for a timeout before introducing me!)
When the game was over, we proceeded to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Even though I had just met them, they made me feel like I had been part of the family for years. From everything I heard at last night's dinner, that was a common experience among the many people Gene has affected over the course of his career and his life.
It's said that when you marry someone, you marry their family too. While that is true, it certainly doesn't guarantee that your in-law relationship will be a quality one. So I consider myself twice blessed to have Cindy and her family in my life. And that family relationship begins with Gene and Diana. We've shared many moments over the past 7 years: innumerable Sunday dinners, beach weeks at Nags Head, Christmases, birthdays, evenings by the chimnea...and the list goes on.
I can still vividly remember the day God gave me the clarity to realize that Cindy was the person I needed to marry. It was shortly after Thanksgiving Day 2000. All the McDonalds were "home" that holiday weekend, and I remember feeling so right about being part of their family. That was the clincher.
There were several common themes woven throughout last night's speeches about Gene.
Family. Listening. Caring about people.
These are all things I have seen in Gene from the first day we met. And I see them in Cindy as well.
Last night's festivities were a testament to the true legacy of Gene McDonald. A family man and devoted husband who has dedicated his life to helping others achieve greatness.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Mommies Past and Present
With Mother's Day 2007 just hours away, I'm reflecting on two of the richest blessings He has bestowed on me. Happy Mother's Day Mom and Cindy!
12,550 days.
That's how long I was blessed with my Mom's presence in this life. Since her passing almost 9 years ago, I have almost exclusively viewed this in the negative. I was "only" 34 when she died. She was "only" 67 when cancer cut her life short.
How short-sighted I've been. Yes, my life has not been the same without her. And yes, there was so much more I wanted to experience with her when she left me. But what a fabulously rich 12,550 days it was. Many of my memories of her are as vivid today as the day they happened. And the stories she told will be with me forever. Like how desperately she wanted to become a Mom. She was married to my Dad for almost seven years before she became pregnant with me. She charted her temperatures daily, and said novena after novena, almost begging God to bless her with a child. (Her prayers were certainly answered as she proceeded to have four children in four years!)
As soon as she believed she was pregnant, she went to her family doctor for confirmation. He administered the old "rabbit test" (no EPT in those days), and it came back negative.
"Are you sure?" my Mom asked, in disbelief at what he was telling her. She was so sure.
"Yes, the tests don't lie" was his response. "But I really feel that I'm pregnant" she pleaded.
"Well you're not. Get it out of your head." He gave her some medication to help get her cycle back on track.
My mom, bless her persistence, immediately made an appointment with an OB/GYN (who turned out to be the doctor who delivered all four of us). Almost immediately upon seeing her, he confirmed what she already knew deep down.
"Congratulations...you are definitely pregnant," was his diagnosis. I imagine that was the happiest day of her life to that point. Of course, when we would test her years later -- "Hey Mom, what was the happiest day of your life?"-- she would always respond that it was a four-way tie.
That was the kind of Mom she was. She never lost sight of the fact that she was chosen by the Lord for this most important responsibility. And she carried it out with such grace, skill, and compassion that I viewed her as an "Expert Mom", while at the same time she probably felt like she would never know all there is to know about raising kids. I remember that she used to keep a copy of the ultra-popular Dr. Spock book in the kitchen cupboard, right next to the Cheerios. I never gave that too much thought until I had kids of my own. Now I realize the fear and uncertainty that touches every parent..."are we doing the right thing about [pick your topic]?" My mom never let that show to us, and I think that is a big reason for her ultimate success.
1,395 days.
That's how long my wife Cindy has been a Mom. We have had three boys over that stretch of time...each different in appearance, personality, and needs. Regardless, Cindy carries out her calling in much the same way that my Mom did. My perspective is different now, as I get to see much more "behind the scenes"... the frustration, the doubt, the pure exhaustion that sometimes characterizes parenthood. But the way Cindy handles it all is very much the way my Mom did. That special love that only a Mom can give, healing all the minor bumps along the way. And the willingness to sacrifice so much for the lives that you have been entrusted with.
A very close family friend, Bill Aaronson, eulogized my Mom with these words:
"We'll all miss you so much...but Joan says and I agree, that between missing you and loving you, loving you tilts the scale more."
So Mom -- here's to the love we shared for 12,550 days. And although you didn't get the chance to meet Cindy in person, I know you are happy and proud that she is following in your footsteps.
12,550 days.That's how long I was blessed with my Mom's presence in this life. Since her passing almost 9 years ago, I have almost exclusively viewed this in the negative. I was "only" 34 when she died. She was "only" 67 when cancer cut her life short.
How short-sighted I've been. Yes, my life has not been the same without her. And yes, there was so much more I wanted to experience with her when she left me. But what a fabulously rich 12,550 days it was. Many of my memories of her are as vivid today as the day they happened. And the stories she told will be with me forever. Like how desperately she wanted to become a Mom. She was married to my Dad for almost seven years before she became pregnant with me. She charted her temperatures daily, and said novena after novena, almost begging God to bless her with a child. (Her prayers were certainly answered as she proceeded to have four children in four years!)
As soon as she believed she was pregnant, she went to her family doctor for confirmation. He administered the old "rabbit test" (no EPT in those days), and it came back negative.
"Are you sure?" my Mom asked, in disbelief at what he was telling her. She was so sure.
"Yes, the tests don't lie" was his response. "But I really feel that I'm pregnant" she pleaded.
"Well you're not. Get it out of your head." He gave her some medication to help get her cycle back on track.
My mom, bless her persistence, immediately made an appointment with an OB/GYN (who turned out to be the doctor who delivered all four of us). Almost immediately upon seeing her, he confirmed what she already knew deep down.
"Congratulations...you are definitely pregnant," was his diagnosis. I imagine that was the happiest day of her life to that point. Of course, when we would test her years later -- "Hey Mom, what was the happiest day of your life?"-- she would always respond that it was a four-way tie.
That was the kind of Mom she was. She never lost sight of the fact that she was chosen by the Lord for this most important responsibility. And she carried it out with such grace, skill, and compassion that I viewed her as an "Expert Mom", while at the same time she probably felt like she would never know all there is to know about raising kids. I remember that she used to keep a copy of the ultra-popular Dr. Spock book in the kitchen cupboard, right next to the Cheerios. I never gave that too much thought until I had kids of my own. Now I realize the fear and uncertainty that touches every parent..."are we doing the right thing about [pick your topic]?" My mom never let that show to us, and I think that is a big reason for her ultimate success.
1,395 days.
That's how long my wife Cindy has been a Mom. We have had three boys over that stretch of time...each different in appearance, personality, and needs. Regardless, Cindy carries out her calling in much the same way that my Mom did. My perspective is different now, as I get to see much more "behind the scenes"... the frustration, the doubt, the pure exhaustion that sometimes characterizes parenthood. But the way Cindy handles it all is very much the way my Mom did. That special love that only a Mom can give, healing all the minor bumps along the way. And the willingness to sacrifice so much for the lives that you have been entrusted with.
A very close family friend, Bill Aaronson, eulogized my Mom with these words:
"We'll all miss you so much...but Joan says and I agree, that between missing you and loving you, loving you tilts the scale more."
So Mom -- here's to the love we shared for 12,550 days. And although you didn't get the chance to meet Cindy in person, I know you are happy and proud that she is following in your footsteps.
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